WHAT I KNOW ABOUT THE ANVIL

Here is is what I know about the anvil. I find it to be a very puzzling kind of tool. No matter how many times other metals are hammered on it, it still functions to give them shape and still remains strong. So this is where my puzzle begins, I do not want to deceive myself that motherhood has been all rosy and the journey so smooth. Even though it has only been less than a couple of years, I have managed to understand that playing the student mum is not all walk in the park. Being a mother in my early twenties is not something I ever envisioned or even imagined happening to me but I also have an assured feeling that even if it could have been planned, I still could not have it all figured out.

Being that I come from a rather, sorry to say, dogmatic and judgmental society, picking up the motherhood lifestyle was a challenge I had to deal with the hard way. I had to learn to live with the gossips and the malice. Sometimes I could even feel spooky eyes penetrating through me and jerking out my remaining innocence, inserting in shades of guilt. Sunday was not a holy day anymore. I had to keep off from the sight of the pure because they made me feel so unclean. But look at me now, I had to struggle for acceptance but now I have the courage to stop my foes from stepping on my toes. The “kwani uko na mtoto?” kind of questions do not bother me anymore. I can walk with my head held high, holding my son’s arm.

The challenges of being a young mum are several but with a strong and courageous heart, one can conquer them all. It is not easy coming back home from a hectic day at school, finding the nanny dozing off on the couch and your baby is playing around with an electricity socket. It is even more disturbing to imagine the kind of aftermath that can result from such an incident. Being paranoid at times is an option you cannot avoid when you decide to embark on motherhood. If you really want to measure your strength as a woman, try being a momma. Ooh yeah, I know what’s running in your mind now. With the motherhood title, you are expected to create fire on a wet ground and keep it blazing in the whirlwind and sometimes you have to keep things cool under the scorching sun without even a drop of water.

A mother is host to several abilities bundled up together. So when you become a wholesome mum, your baby becomes the number one priority and all the love that exists in your heart is all showered on him or her. You might even start blaming yourself for the childish and stupid acts your child might display. I sometimes blame myself for not feeding him at the right time when he starts throwing tantrums and messing up the house because he either needs a meal or a snack. I am not saying putting the blame on you is an act of unconditional love but being considerate of your baby’s condition is.

Being clueless too can add up to the downs that might come with parenthood. Sometimes I barely have a clue on what to say or do to my son when he starts hitting me and using a commanding tone on me. I find myself a little clueless of what I am going to teach him as he grows and how I am going to get it into his head. Knowing your baby, his likes, needs, preferences and even likes is something every parent should consider knowing. You don’t want to struggle and forcing your child with things he does not desire or cherish. If I had known earlier that my son is a lover of motion, I could not have forced him with stationary toys.

Being a college mum is not something easy to accept unless you have the courage to push through with all the challenges that come along with it. I think we all agree that it is not easy telling your crush that you cannot go with him to the night life because you have a baby waiting for you at home but when you have the courage and the zeal for motherhood, it is just but another normal term to say. We have to retain the attribute of the anvil and therefore every obstacle that is hit upon us has to be put to shape.