THE DANCE WITH MY FATHER

Let's communicate through pen and paper
Because we can no longer feel each other's touch
I quite remember that one moment
When you stretched your arms towards me, smiled and asked me to have a feel of your palms.
I gladly lay my palms on yours and brushed them together, let out a gasp, then smiled back.
The softness of your palms had been erased by the beautiful works of your hands
I was awed by the pride that shown through your eyes
You were proud of the beauty your rugged and scabby palms had resulted to
And at that moment, I got to understand how much you valued positivity
You raised my bubbles and created a bomb that will forever last in my soul
You led me on, just a couple of days before your sunset,
Held my hand and showed me how to get rid of my fears
Your last lesson to me was one where you taught me how to let go of a faint heart and release sparks of energy and courage in all I do
I remember every bit, how you held down the prey,
And encouraged me to set my fears at bay
Then at once you helped me slit the throat of the cockerel, without giving me a nay

Those palms that led me through the dance
Ever since, from the time of my entrance
Those palms that embraced the roughness of a soldier's weapon
And the softness of a family touch
The palms that could make a rogue weep
Are the same palms that wiped out my tears
And never, at any moment directed a whip to my skin
I'm still awed and still wonder how you managed it
You sure did master the art perfectly;
Career man
Family man
'The boys' man
All balanced to create a perfect man
A soldier with no blemish,
An irony but you lived it, and for this reason,
You earned genuine friendship and a faithful union
Honesty and a good personality were hallmarks of your being

So now that you're gone
And the dance can no longer go on
I got a different kind of fear zooming in
I don't feel like I'm winning anymore
The dance floor has formed deep dents that threaten to swallow me whole
I feel wetness on the floor
My dancing shoes keep sliding to the door, pleading for me to give up
Yet I see no one to hold on to
The strobe lights don't shine bright lights anymore
It's too dark in here
And the air so dense
I can't feel the song too. The tune has suddenly grown cold and the lyrics undefined
My dress is stained with uncertainties
And I'm losing it once again
I smile with the folks walking past the floor
They pass through, oblivious of my pain and struggles
And I realise the magnitude of pain a lone heart goes through

I need you to stretch your arms again
Direct my steps
At least show me where I should make my first and last
I feel damaged
And my body is trimming down its flesh,
Responding to and translating the stressed language pronounced by my soul
I'm disturbed by the truth about losing you
I can't stitch the cues
I want to follow your lead
You left before the end
So now this dance is damaged
And I'm left with the responsibility of sorting it out.
Now I need somebody to find and guide me
Somebody to lead me on
Somebody to try, or better still, make this dance comfortable and joyful again
Cause for you, I'd already given a tribute.

I didn't know it would be like this, never even expected it so
But I guess the end of this dance is one thing my soul will have to endure
They say time heals all wounds
And so I believe that with time,
The lights will shine again
And my steps will move to the sound of the beats once more
And then someday, the dance will go on.